


clear my chaos

by scottdoofussummers



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 11:46:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4178601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scottdoofussummers/pseuds/scottdoofussummers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>wanda maximoff was a young woman, a twin, not a normal girl, but most certainly not a hero</p>
            </blockquote>





	clear my chaos

**Author's Note:**

> There isn't much here, so there isn't much to say. I had very low expectations for the movie, and I think those expectations were met. While I still find criticism in the castings, I thought ATJ and Olsen did a pretty good job. This is just my attempt to wrap my head around the twins volunteering for HYDRA. At least in my head, the twins are Jewish in the MCU. I wouldn't accept anything else.

She lies awake every night. It doesn't surprise anyone when she's sluggish and tired in the mornings. The training is different from the training from HYDRA. It's not easy, and it puts strains on her. Physically and mentally. The work feels spiteful. The exercises and drills preparing her for fights seem frivolous to her. She'd been in a real battle, she had been a solider. She lost her brother and now she runs, and ducks, and jumps, and repeats. 

She doesn't need to be asleep to have nightmares. The images of her brother's lifeless body shoots in her head when she closes her eyes. She could only imagine what he looked liked at his death. She felted haunted by the idea of life withering from his eyes. It's been long enough to were she doesn't cry anymore, no. In her bed she only sits and fells the weight of guilt and anger pull her down, sink her. 

She thinks to herself how funny her situation turned out to be. Wanda and her brother saw Stark, his weapons, and his heroes, as the enemies. They stood for cruel, corporate, imperialism. She had seen the Avengers as lustful liars and thieves, their false ideals of a better world built upon the suffering of her people, the Avengers had made her sick. But now? She owed the Avengers her life, though she isn't sure if it was worth saving. 

She should have died with her brother. The two had entered the world together. She always assumed they were destined to leave together too. And she is a sinner. She and her brother were so desperate they fell into HYDRA's sick traps. They claimed not to care who anyone was, where they came from, what they worshiped. The world had changed since the war. They said anyone could be a part of their grand plans, as long as they swore allegiance. It was all lies. She could only imagine the shame her parents would feel. Every justification she makes up, or every sympathetic thing said to her, makes her cringe. Part of her knows she doesn't deserve redemption. 

Still, she is thankful for Captain America, or Steve as he asked to be called. Wanda doesn't like either name. She is still uncomfortable with her new western alignment, and she doesn't know him well. He isn't Steve to her. He is...she doesn't know yet. A good man. He checks up on her and tries to give advice. He tries to make her feel welcome. He wants to make her feel like an Avenger. 

How? She wonders, could she feel like an Avenger, when she doesn't know how it feels to be herself? Wanda Maximoff was a young woman, a twin, not a normal girl, but most certainly not a hero. This witch, this scarlet witch, the Avengers want her to become, it isn't her. She can't do it with out him. But she must.


End file.
